I don’t remember

I heard this story the other day on the radio.

A pastor was enjoying some success in his growing church.  His congregation told him how much they liked his messages and new members were flowing in and decisions for Christ were made weekly.  No matter the success in his church, though, the pastor kept on reliving a sin he had committed while in seminary.  He had asked forgiveness but found it difficult to shake the guilt.

One day a prominent member in his church told him that she had been praying and God told her something about a ministry opportunity in the church.  The pastor, being something of a pragmatist, had some doubts about this lady actually hearing God’s voice.  He told her, “The next time God speaks to you, ask him what sin I committed in seminary.”  He thought she’d never be able to guess, and on the off chance she told him what it was, he could listen to her ideas about this ministry.

The next week, the lady came back and told the pastor she had heard from God again.  She told the pastor that she had asked him what sin the pastor had committed in seminary.  “Well, what did he tell you?” the pastor asked.  The lady looked  the pastor in the eye and said, “He said, ‘I don’t remember.'”

Sometimes forgiveness is difficult.  We let our anger (see Friday’s entry) get the better of us and we are really not very willing to forgive.  We especially aren’t willing to forget.  God forgives absolutely and forgets completely about our sins.  Who am I to do less?

I know that there is nothing holy about being a fool who continually lets other people take advantage of them.  I also know that Jesus said to forgive others.  The Lord’s Prayer says, “Forgive us our trespasses as we forgive those who trespass against us.”  If we are unwilling to forgive others we are putting ourselves above God.  The same goes if we are unwilling to forgive ourselves.  We should learn from every mistake, but we should be willing to forgive ourselves and others as we want God to forgive us.